----- Original Message -----
Sent: Thursday, November 07, 2002 1:12
PM
Subject: [PWA-L] Things that go
"clunk"
Okay, scribblers! You didn't want to talk about middles
so much. How about "clunks"?
I'm curious to know if anyone else
hears a "clunk" in the following passage? And, if so, what needs to be
done to repair the metaphorical pothole in the prose?
The situation:
the narrator has just come from a swim in a cold lake, where he faked
his own death. He's now in the car of a reluctant accomplice, who's
driving him to Canada. (By the way, the passage also begins a
chapter...)
"Wrapped in a blanket, Stone fell asleep almost
immediately. Paula put the heat up full blast, and gradually Stone's
chills melted away. They took 196 north to Grand Rapids; there they got
on 96 and took it across Michigan, skirting Lansing, and into Detroit, where
Paula stopped briefly at a Ramada Inn for coffee. It was close to midnight
when they arrived at the border crossing at Windsor,
Ontario."
Scribite!
kent
p.s.
A writer I know
e-mailed me this the other day:
"Actually, I'm wondering what all these
lithe young creatures know about 'sagging middles.' I know
about sagging middles. There's one that always comes between me and my. .
.shoes."
Sad, isn't it?