Hello all!
Hope everyone's semester has started out well. So
when's the next meeting of scribes? We still need to
go bowling and drink beer. Got a funny story thought
you all could appreciate.

Tony
_______________________________________________________
A Writing Class
> > >>
> > >>
> > >>Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are
from Venus"?
Here's a
> > >>prime
> > >>example offered by an English professor from the
University of
>Phoenix:
> > >>
> > >>"Today we will experiment with a new form called
the tandem
story.
>The
> > >>process is simple.  Each person will pair off
with the person
sitting
>to
> > >>his
> > >>or her immediate right.  As homework tonight,
one of you will
write
>the
> > >>first paragraph of a short story. You will
e-mail your partner
that
> > >>paragraph and send another copy to me.  The
> > >>partner will read the first paragraph and then
add another
paragraph
>to
> > >>the
> > >>story and send it back also sending another copy
to me.  The
first
>person
> > >>will then add a third paragraph, and so on back
and forth.
Remember
>to
> > >>re-read what has been written each time in order
to keep the
story
> > >>coherent.
> > >>There is to be absolutely NO talking
> > >>outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to
say must be
written in
>the
> > >>e-mail.  The story is over when both agree a
conclusion has been
>reached."
> > >>
> > >>The following was actually turned in by two of
my English
students:
> > >>Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name
deleted).
> > >>
> >
>>----------------------------------------------------------------
> > >>THE STORY:
> > >>(first paragraph by Rebecca)
> > >>At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of
tea
> > >>she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
> > >>favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
> > >>her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
> > >>times, that he liked chamomile.  But she felt
she
> > >>must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl.
> > >>His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she
> > >>thought about him too much her asthma started
> > >>acting up again.  So chamomile was out of the
> > >>question.
> > >>
> >
>>-----------------------------------------------------------
> > >>
> > >>(second paragraph by Gary)
> > >>Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader
of
> > >>the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
had
> > >>more important things to think about than the
> > >>neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
> > >>Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
over
> > >>a year ago.   "A.S. Harris to Geostation
17,???*??
> > >>he said into his transgalactic communicator.
> > >>"Polar orbit established.  No sign of resistance
> > >>so far..."   But before he could sign off a
bluish
> > >>particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted
a
> > >>hole through his ship's cargo bay.  The jolt
from
> > >>the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat
and
> > >>across the cockpit.
> > >>
> >
>>----------------------------------------------------------
> > >>(Rebecca)
> > >>He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
but
> > >>not before he felt one last pang of regret for
> > >>psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
ever
> > >>had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
stopped
> > >>its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful
farmers
> > >>of Skylon 4. "Congress passes Law Permanently
Abolishing
> > >>War and Space Travel,"  Laurie read in her
newspaper one morning.
The
> > >>news simultaneously excited her and bored her.
She stared out
the
> > >>window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had
passed
unhurriedly
> > >>and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no
television to
distract
>her
> > >>from her sense of innocent wonder at all the
beautiful
> > >>things around her. "Why must one lose one's
innocence
> > >>to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
> > >>
> >
>>---------------------------------------------------------
> > >>
> > >>(Gary)
> > >>Little did she know, but she had less than 10
seconds
> > >>to live.  Thousands of miles above the city, the
> > >>Anu'udrian mother ship launched the first of its
> > >>lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy
> > >>peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
> > >>Disarmament Treaty through the Congress had left
> > >>Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien
> > >>empires who were determined to destroy the human
> > >>race.  Within two hours after the passage of the
> > >>treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
> > >>Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize
the
> > >>entire planet.  With no one to stop them, they
> > >>swiftly initiated their diabolical plan.
> > >>The lithium fusion missile entered the
atmosphere
> > >>unimpeded.  The President, in his top-secret
> > >>Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor
> > >>off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably
> > >>massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid,
> > >>Laurie and 85 million other Americans.  The
> > >>President slammed his fist on the conference
table.
> > >>"We can't allow this!  I'm going to veto that
> > >>treaty!  Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
> > >>
> >
>>----------------------------------------------------------
> > >>(Rebecca)
> > >>This is absurd. I refuse to continue this
mockery of literature.
My
> > >>writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic
semi-literate
adolescent.
> > >>
> >
>>----------------------------------------------------------
> > >>
> > >>(Gary)
> > >>Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious
neurotic
> > >>whose attempts at writing are the literary
equivalent
> > >>of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or
shall
> > >>I have some other sort of FUCKING TEA???  Oh no,
I'm
> > >>such an air headed bimbo who reads too many
> > >>Danielle Steele novels."
> > >>
> >
>>---------------------------------------------------------
> > >>(Rebecca)
> > >>Asshole.
> >
>>---------------------------------------------------------
> > >>(Gary)
> > >>Bitch.
> >
>>---------------------------------------------------------
> > >>(Rebecca)
> > >>DICK!
> >
>>---------------------------------------------------------
> > >>(Gary)
> > >>Slut.
> >
>>---------------------------------------------------------
> > >>(Rebecca)
> > >>Get fucked.
> >
>>---------------------------------------------------------
> > >>(Gary)
> > >>Eat shit.
> >
>>---------------------------------------------------------
> > >>(Rebecca)
> > >>FUCK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
> >
>>---------------------------------------------------------
> > >>(Gary)
> > >>Go drink some tea - whore.
> > >>
> > >>**********************************************
> > >>(TEACHER)
> > >>
> > >>A+ - I really liked this one. Only group to get
an A.


__________________________________________________
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